


I’m Not Fucking Constipated (m’ just a little under the weather)

by TinyBangtanScrub



Series: haikyuu omorashi [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accidents, Awkward Kageyama Tobio, Awkward Tsukishima Kei, Bathrooms, Crying, Desperation, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Friendship, Headaches & Migraines, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, Humiliation, Humor, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Kageyama Tobio-centric, M/M, Nausea, No Smut, Oblivious Hinata Shouyou, Omorashi, One Shot, Protective Tsukishima Kei, Second-Hand Embarrassment, Sick Character, Sickfic, Situational Humiliation, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Wetting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:21:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24767665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TinyBangtanScrub/pseuds/TinyBangtanScrub
Summary: Kageyama has been feeling sick all day, with Hinata being of no benefit, and his body cheating him—his only aid in crisis is a very particular blonde.orKageyama is really unwell and needs to get to the toilets during passing period.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Kageyama Tobio/Tsukishima Kei
Series: haikyuu omorashi [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1957936
Comments: 6
Kudos: 117





	I’m Not Fucking Constipated (m’ just a little under the weather)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bee_Li](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bee_Li/gifts).



> thank you so much to [Depressed_AH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Depressed_AH/pseuds/Depressed_AH) for writing their incredible work: [In Our Corner of the Train](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24745951)

Tobio Kageyama taps his led pencil against his desk, eyeing the students with physical activity kick at the soccer balls given. He can just keep his eyes open, his mind has been all fuzzy since morning— _wasn't this reckoned to get better after eating?_ He sighs, _it can't be helped._ There is no way he’d miss practice today, especially since they are drawing so close to nationals—there was no room for being ill. Not only is he nauseous and lightheaded, but his body decided to throw in one more component to his misery. His bladder was throbbing, he wasn't too desperate, but with the rest of his discomfort— _he might as well have had to piss like a racehorse._

_He's abstracted in self-doubt, knowing full well about his teacher's strict bathroom rule:_

_**"Toilet trips are not permitted in my lessons unless you're about to make a mess in my classroom, otherwise, there are to be no interruptions in those sorts."** _

She'd said it countless times, specifically at Hinata, who appeared to ignore the rule time and again. In which, his logic being that it was, in fact, a stupid rule! Kageyama didn't disagree with him, because depriving a student of their needs was a fucked up thing to do, but it wasn't like she left them no choice. If he absolutely needed to go, all he had to do was advise that it was an emergency. Tobio recognizes that it isn't a likelihood, unlike Hinata, he had dignity. It wasn't like he's was embarrassed about it! ( _He was._ ) He just didn't want to be a nuisance, plus, the period would end in less than half an hour either way. It wasn't like he was going to wet himself, he was a grown boy!

* * *

_He’s a grown boy._

His body was on fire, he felt like dying. _Actually_ , throwing up. _No, dying_. He gives out a low frustrated moan, catching the notoriety of no other than Hinata Shouyou. It had been independent work, but he could hear the murmurs of his classmates towards one another. Hinata, unfortunately, wasn't a murmur type of kid. "Are you constipated or something?" Tobio shoots up, gawking to see if anyone else attended Hinata's obnoxiously loud voice. He growls, _"Shut the fuck up, will you? You're so loud, dumbass."_ Hinata is dumbfounded, "I was right? You're constipated? Well, if you want I have some prunes." Kageyama wants to bash Hinata's face in, _"What the fuck, of course not!_ It's none of your damn business, now stop talking, you're impairing my hearing." Hinata shrugs, Tobio retreats to lounging his head.

He really has the worst luck sometimes.

Not only did his need somehow, triple, but it seemed to worsen his condition by that majority. Kageyama doesn't recall a time where he last felt so incapable, he just wants to piss and sleep, _was that too much of a request?_ He wills himself from crying, even though it's in the top five of his bucket list. He resumes to drown in self-loathe, frequently bucking up at the clock, counting down the minutes until the bell rings. As much as he detests to admit it, he might have to miss practice today. He wouldn't be playing his best at this rate, there was no point in burdening his teammates.

As time passes, he finds himself hiccuping silent tears.

* * *

_He doesn't realize the bell has sounded until Hinata's despicable voice veers him back to reality._

He has to crawl up from his seat, peeping around to see who is left in the room. There’s no one, other than the teacher who is planning for her next lesson, he's alone. He rushes to gather his belongings, but standing is more impossible than he predicts. He prefers to cry again, but he chooses not to, that would only make things worse. So he pushes all his vitality to his legs, taking stagnant steps towards the entrance.

His body is tipping with every stride, _all he needs to do right now is make it to the restroom._

The crowd makes everything that much nastier. He tries to blend in, but he's so sluggish that he's only getting in the way—people are dragging him as he tries to find room for his breath. _He's suffocating_. Just as he prepares to collapse, he's saved. He's heaved by his wrist towards one of the doors leading outside—sneering at his capturer for surprising him so abruptly—when he peers at the suspect, he's overwhelmed. Tsukishima Kei, who he really should be thanking, is standing in front of him with an unreadable expression. He looks more pissed off, precisely, but Kageyama can't pinpoint why. He just wants to pee, _why must this happen to him?_

It isn't evident in what commences the waterworks anymore.

Whether it has been his frustrated daze or the discomfort, he knows one this for particular. That being, he was crying in front of Tsukishima, the one person he's despised showing any sort of vulnerability towards. Kei is bewildered, any hostility toward the raven-haired has ceased. Before he can ask why the other was crying, Kageyama weakly pulls away from his grasp. _"Why did you do that?"_ Tobio tries to ask stably, but Tsukishima is beginning to double. "You were in the middle of the hall, idiot. I wasn't going to just leave you there to get trampled, I'm not as much of a dick as you think." The blonde shrugs while Tobio struggles to brush away the tears. _"Oh,"_ he starts, sniffling quietly before wobbling in place. _"I-I'm going to go to the bathroom."_ He tells Tsukishima, who quirks an eyebrow—because not only is Kageyama going to wrong way, _but they’re still outside._

Kei clicks his tongue, _"Turn around you idiot,_ unless you're planning on watering the trees I suggest you follow me, you're obviously too looped to function." Kageyama's face crimsons, but he can't speak properly—it's better to listen than fight it. So he does, following the blurry sketch of his teammate who had a better sense of direction even when he wasn’t about to throw up breakfast. Apparently, it only gets worse. Kageyama finds that he has to go so badly that without recognizing it, his underwear are completely soaked, not lagging to show up on his uniform. Maybe that's why Tsukishima refused to say more than necessary. No, he was always like that. Tobio, who'd never been drunk before finds it hard to believe that something that drives people into a buzzed state is addicting.

By the time they are in the toilets, Kageyama can hardly make out the urinal. He ends up bumping into the wall a whopping total of three times before Tsukishima has to physically position the shorter in front of the toilets, _hoping to god he doesn't have to do more than that._ Tobio simply looks at him expectingly, and to his dissatisfaction, Kei rolls his eyes, "What are you waiting for, _want me to hold your dick for you too?"_ He admits, his tone is pretty harsh considering Tobio's condition—but he's never once had to interact with someone like this, it was stressing him out. Kageyama doesn't seem hurt by it, _thankfully_ , and squints down at his pants so he can unzip with his long fingers. It takes a few tugs before it's low, so he reaches inside to feel for his penis. Apparently, he's frightened by his own touch— _because_ , at that instant, he spurts _humiliatingly_ into his pants. He wants to pretend that it didn't splatter to the floor, but he doesn't care as much as he would when he's fully conscious of the transpire. So after the second term, he pulls out his cock and positions it towards the urinal—or what he can gather of it. Kei doesn't seem pleased with his aim so shouts at him to move his hand more to the left, _and when he does_ , he notions at him to move more to the right.

Kageyama is frustrated, and his heavy cock is dribbling with urine. Somewhere between the lines, Tsukishima gets so fed up that he takes matter in his own hands, yanking Tobio's wrist and discovering what Kageyama figures is the favorable stance. _"Go,"_ is all he says before Kageyama does just that, flooding his contents into the white platform. It feels upmost amazing, he's ultimately able to release what has been a big proportion of his discomfort. It's loud, but he doesn't mind. Tsukishima looks mortified, he doesn't comprehend why. Maybe he'd find out later. After a few long moments of hissing, he's empty. He deliberately tucks himself back in before shifting to what he thinks is the sink to wash his hands.

He turns back to Tsukishima, attempting to thank him but is promptly cut off between his lines, _"Are you delusional?_ There's no way you're going back to class like that, _do you see yourself?"_ Kageyama is uncertain why the blonde is so sour, he stumbles, _"What's wrong with me?"_ Tsukishima rubs the bridge of his nose, "You're a mess, not to mention you're still not feeling well." Kageyama's eyes widen, _"You knew?"_ Kei huffs out, _"Of course I knew,_ that's why I dragged you outside in the first place. It would be bad news if you threw up on someone." Tobio grunts, _"I wasn't goin' to throw up."_

_"Yes, you were."_

* * *

The next day, after being sent home, Tobio had to ensue an uncomfortable discussion with Hinata. _"Are you sure you aren't constipated?"_ Kageyama curses out, _"Are you seriously still fucking on that?"_ Hinata nods relatively heartily, _"Well yeah, I mean, being constipated is pretty painful, right? Why else would you be crying—plus you never came back to school after that!"_ Tobio gapes in horror, _"I wasn't crying._ " Shouyou glares, _"Were too! You can't deceive my eyes, Bakeyama."_ Tsukishima bounds in, _"Don't use vocabulary you don't know, moron."_ Hinata draws back defensively, _"Huh? Of course, I know what I'm saying! I'm not dumb, Stingyshima!"_ Kei narrows his gaze, unimpressed.

_"Right."_

**Author's Note:**

> is it really okay for me to write a sick fic during corona lmao


End file.
